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Networking and building relationships 

NETWORKING AND BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS FOR YOUR BUSINESS

How to build great relationships
Relationships are essential to the success of any business. Work closely with people and develop a rapport with them. When you have allies on your side, you will get much further than if you tried to go about things alone.​

Without care and effort, relationships fade away. If you want to have strong relationships, you are going to have to pursue them and maintain them. Following these tips may help:

Be Authentic. 
This is simple. Be who you are and accept others as they are. It’s easy to create a false persona, especially online, but that is not the way to start a relationship and short lived when we start qualifying people and companies. Find people and companies you feel a natural connection and ease of communication with and things you both have in common. The authenticity of connecting personality, beliefs and point of view can accelerate relationships. 

Identify Shared Goals and Values. 
We seek out people in life we like, share similar goals and values with. Are they honest, kind, knowledgeable, helpful? How do they treat others? This is about moral character. Do we respect them? I have sadly seen too many people present themselves one way only to take advantage of people, once they have their trust. We may not always share the same point of view with everyone, but the shared values are a must.

Keep up with people
.
It sounds basic, but we’re starting to forget how to do it. You are going to have to maintain your relationships. If you don’t talk to someone for months, you’ll fall off their radar, or they may not immediately jump at the chance to help you when you finally reach out to them and ask. Keep some records of who you have networked with and check in with them every so often. If they’re online contacts on a digital network, keep your conversations going. If they’re colleagues or people with whom you’ve swapped business cards, send an email or make a call every month or so. Check in and say hello. If you tend to forget to make – or worse, return – calls or emails, use a task management system or calendar to remind you to call or write.

Build trust
. 
Never
 take advantage of people. Don’t even let them think that you’d do so. It’s the quickest way to ruin a relationship and build a bad reputation that can harm other relationships too. The key to building trust is being honest. When you are willing to forego your own interests to help someone else, they know they can rely on you. Do the right thing and be dependable, and you’ll see your relationships grow stronger.

Network
.
Networking is the key to building successful relationships, and you have many options available to you. I am a member of my Chamber of Commerce, a rotary group, a non-profit board of directors, and a business incubator. I also attend as many mixers as I can to meet new contacts. However, networking doesn’t have to be this formal. You can strike up a friendly conversation with someone at the gym. I once received a job lead from someone I met at a friend’s birthday party. As long as you are engaging with other people, you are actively networking. Even if you aren’t much of a people person, you can put yourself out there a little bit so that you can make some great contacts. You don’t have to be the life of the party. People would rather you just be yourself. Even if you’re not comfortable putting yourself out there on Facebook, take a look at your LinkedIn profile. Make sure it’s up to date, and test the waters to see if you can make any new contacts online.

Show an interest in others
.
Pretentious people who talk about themselves all the time don’t get very far. Smart people know that an early step to gaining respect and building a relationship is to show interest in other people. Listen to what people have to say and show a sincere interest in them. Ask questions about their job and kids. Keep track of what they’ve brought up in the past and follow up with them. Everyone is impressed when someone shows they’ve taken the time to remember their stories.

Work hard
.
People want to invest in someone who is going to provide results. You might need to show them that you can deliver before you can expect them to have your back or put in a good word for you. When someone asks for something, give a little more. Deliver early and take initiative to help in ways you weren’t asked. It takes effort to build relationships with bosses, colleagues, friends, and family, and you might have to be the first one to do a favor.

Let Go of Expectations. 
Always go into relationships with an open mind, realistic expectations and never assume. People are only who we think they are based on what our interactions have been with them. One of the best pieces of advice I got from a client was: accept the way people are not as you want them to be. If we have preconceived expectations of people, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. 

Offer Something Before Asking for Something
.
Many people want to build relationships so that they can have someone to help them out when they need it. Always think about how you can help people in your network. They’re far more likely to return a favor than they are to go out of their way for you, especially early in your relationship.

Focus on quality, not quantity. 
When I go to a networking event, I probably come home with 20 business cards. People want to make an impression, but not every contact has the potential to turn into a relationship. You are going to be busy with your life and work, so you can’t invest in maintaining a relationship with every person you ever meet. Be realistic, and don’t create unnecessary work for yourself. A mentor once advised me that the best goal at a networking event is to get just one good business card. However, that doesn’t mean you turn away everyone else you meet, because you don’t know which contacts are going to be the most promising. Follow up with anyone who you may have a quality relationship with later. Just don’t overwhelm yourself trying to keep up with too many new people.

People make plenty of mistakes, so watch out for some potential pitfalls:
  • Not being personal. Some people are all business. Worse yet, they are just vampires trying to use others to achieve their own needs. Many people don’t even know they’re doing it; sometimes this behavior is just subconscious and most people would be ashamed to see it in themselves. Always remember that you’re working on a mutually beneficial relationship, and be genuine. Show your interest in people’s careers, families, and your mutual interests.
  • Failure to show appreciation. Everybody wants to know that their contributions are acknowledged and appreciated. It is easy to forget to thank someone who shares a job lead or goes out of their way to help you solve a problem. Make a conscious effort to show gratitude for things that others do for you, and they’ll be more inclined to help you in the future.
  • Forgetting to update. After somebody helps you get a job or solve another problem, keep them posted on how things are going. Whether they put you in touch with the hiring manager or serve as a reference, let people know how they contributed to your success. Show that you aren’t going to abandon them as soon as you get what you want.
  • Failing to be consistent. In all relationships, people deserve to know that your good intentions are genuine. If you are good to someone who’s good to you, but they see you failing to treat others the same way, they will question your motives. They may think you are sucking up or being deceptive. Treating everyone you meet the same way helps you come across as sincere and genuine.
  • Acting unprofessionally in bad times. Don’t panic or blame other people when the dam breaks. If things go bad, be upfront about it and alleviate any concerns by working hard to address the issue. Being a positive, team player in tough times reveals your true character. If things are falling apart around you and it’s not your fault, start working toward a solution rather than pointing fingers.
  • Failing to admit your mistakes. Part of developing trust is showing that you know how to be accountable. If you mess up, fess up about it. People understand that mistakes are made, but lying about them can cause permanent damage to your relationships.
  • Not being reliable. Just like when businesses deceivingly change their policies or don’t meet obligations, you can really offend someone when you’re not reliable. Don’t miss meetings, and don’t flake on promises. These mistakes can cost your relationships significantly. Your value is only as good as your word to both your colleagues and customers.
  • Not being careful what you say. Everyone makes mistakes in conversation, but you need to avoid doing so in relationship building. A simple slip of the tongue can cost you a lot in the long run. No matter where you are or who you are with, you are representing yourself, so try to be professional. In addition, if you speak poorly about people behind their backs to someone, that person will be wary that you may do the same to them.
  • Surrounding yourself with untrustworthy people. You’re going to be judged by the company you keep. If your friends or business contacts have shady reputations or histories of dishonesty, then you’re building that same reputation for yourself. If you refer business to someone who has a reputation for taking people’s money, then you are going to burn bridges with anyone who finds out about it. 

Relationships take a lot of effort to build, but they can be destroyed overnight if you aren’t careful.
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